Community and Growth

So, I officially had my first upper level Psychology class this morning (yes, I'm finally winding down after being up for 15 hours).. And yes, I have been working on Psychology as well as doing a few hours at Tim Horton's (I stink like coffee, cream and grossness).
I am currently reading "Community and Growth" by Jean Vanier, and I must say, it is a very intriguing book. I have finished the first chapter (finally, it seemed to have taken forever), but it was very interesting. So many wonderful points were made and I look forward to continuing the book. I have yet to write my reading log on this chapter, but it's not due until Saturday at midnight, so I've made notes in the book simply because it's easier for me to do it that way. This course seems to cover most of my areas of interest, and I feel as though it will be very helpful during thesis-writing time.
Also, today, I began my job at Tim Horton's (lame, I know, but what can you do). I only worked 3 hours and 12 minutes, but I got $9.50 per hour I was there plus an extra $3.81 in tips :D I'm pretty excited to keep working.. But I don't work again until Thursday, which is also very exciting. So much is happening this week, but I am so stoked that I am taking the steps to begin my career. My Psych professor, Walter has told me to stop by sometime this week to talk with him regarding my major (aka Psych, obvs). I am, of course, double majoring but Philosophy is mainly a "fun" major, if that makes sense. Many people are confused when I tell them Philosophy is fun for me; they look at me as though I have 3 heads, but it truly interests and excites me. I do know, however, that I need a Psychology degree to pursue my career of assisting children with depression and related (for lack of a better word) disabilities.
I am truly interested in my fields of study (I know that that should be normal, but not a lot of people are). I'm excited to continue on with my studies in Community Psychology and Philosophy of Religion. I am hoping to find a way to merge the two viewpoints in my thesis in two years, but a lot can happen in two years.

When I came here 4 years ago, I didn't really have a sense of why I was here and why I should be here. Vanier makes an excellent point in his book "Community and Growth" that states, "If we enter community because of our own choice, we will stay only if we become more aware that it was in fact God who chose us for this community. It is only then that we will find the inner strength to live through times of turmoil," (p. 44). This quote speaks to me in regards specifically to SSU, by which I have gone through a long road of searching and hurting to get to this place (emotionally, mentally and physically). Gregg Finley said on the first day of Orientation Week that "none of us are here by coincidence, we have all been called by God to be here," and that really hit home for me due to all that I have been through. These past couple of months have truly proven to me that I am meant to be here. Timing is everything. I honestly don't feel like I should have come here when I originally did (I'm glad I did, because I met some stellar people), but I don't feel as though I was mature enough in any facet of my being to commit to anything or to open up to the concept of community. I needed to figure out myself and my world in order to find my calling. And I was called back here. I'm still not positive of my purpose here, but I definitely have a sense of peace when I am here.

So, being a full time student, a part time worker and a volunteer stage manager for a local theatre group can be very time consuming and very stressful if one is not organized, so I am very precise when it comes to scheduling and budgeting. But something really hit home for me as I was reading "Community and Growth", it reads: "But to be good instruments of God's love we must avoid being over-tired, burnt-out, stressed, aggressive, fragmented or closed up. We need to be rested, centred, peaceful, aware of the needs of our body, our heart and our spirit. Jesus says that there is no greater love than to give our lives, but let us not give our over-tired, stressed and aggressive lives. Let us rather give joyful ones!" (p. 47). This really hit me because I find when I am over-tired, I am slightly rude and I seem to wear my fatigue quite openly, when it is no fault of the community that I have stretched myself so thin. I find that it is a conscious decision to be "rested, centred and peaceful", for the good of the community. I am learning that, although my life is full of stress and busy-ness, I am accountable to make the effort for peace. I find time in my busy life to relax and have a peaceful time for myself and am calmed by this alone time that I have.